All That Matters

Our family schedule and routine has, of late, been up-ended by a series of unusual events. First, my husband had to go out of state for business-related travel, then there was Thanksgiving (which meant we had therapy canceled and missed library day in the same week-the horror!).  Additionally, we have been at least moderately affected by the latest winter storm system and my husband was forced to take a four-weekend due to poor road conditions (also causing therapy and regular activities to be canceled).  To top it off this week, my husband was able to go back to work, but has been working ten hour days and going in before the kids are up because of holiday overtime AND big brother isn't feeling well.  Needless to say, we have been on a roller coaster of tantrums, meltdowns, crankiness, potty accidents, and all that comes with a schedule upheaval of such epic proportions.  I have (mostly) kept my cool during this tumultuous time.  It's been difficult.  My house is a mess and we've got family coming to stay with us in a few short weeks.  I have volunteered to make and bring things to places and people that I haven't even bought or prepared yet.  Laundry is threatening to envelope our bedroom and make sleep completely impossible.  I spent three solid minutes last night on the phone with my wonderful, generous, and loving husband (who in addition to making a 1800 mile round-trip work excursion a couple of weeks ago and having an awful time of it to boot, was currently on his way home from a ten-hour day at work and driving on roads that were still partially snow-covered to get there and back, all to get a paycheck that single-handedly supports all four of us) about the fact that NO ONE had helped ME with the dishes this entire week.  So....maybe I haven't completely kept my cool.
I woke up this morning with a violent headache (the kind that always end up nesting behind my left eye and festering, making me want to pluck my own eyes out...sorry, unnecessary visual), a sick kid, my daughter's normal everyday garden-variety tornado of messes to clean up, and a veritable MOUNTAIN of housework that needed my attention badly.  After posting a picture of my daughter's latest horrid mess that had been made on social media, a good friend of mine said this to me:  (in reference to her son who has some special needs very similar to those my daughter faces), "...So, when someone asks why my house isn't perfect, why the laundry isn't done, etc, I know that I have taken care of my little boy, and that's what matters!"  That comment sort of changed my attitude for the week.  Because that's exactly where my attention was needed, even more so than the dishes, laundry, and tub that was going to HAVE to be scrubbed before the end of the day combined.  My wonderful friend was right.

 

And so came Revelation of the Day #1:  My placement on Earth was not that of 'laundry doer' or even 'activity mom' as my husband jokingly calls me these days.  I was put here to be a mommy, a wife, a friend, a servant.  And while housework does need to be done and it's nice to have help; my stress over it NOT being done is unimportant.  What is important is that my kids built a tent together in our living room today and 'explored' it with flashlights.  What is important is that the three of us made crayons to give to the kids' friends as Christmas gifts.  What is important is the two beautiful children I am so blessed and lucky to have (messes included).
 

As the day went on, I received an email that discussed the 'one thing every marriage should have.'  Intrigued and because the emails from this particular party are usually well-worth the read, I clicked.  As I read, the email discussed this one mysterious ingredient necessary for a good, solid, loving marriage:  Grace.  I'm paraphrasing here, but the article basically stated that without grace a marriage would grow hateful, resentful, and stagnant.  How can two people grow together and grow their family if they lack the grace it takes to moves past petty issues like who washed more dishes this week?  Here came Revelation of the Day #2:  I am not a perfect person and neither is the man I married.  Therefore, our marriage isn't perfect.  He doesn't always read my mind and do the dishes when I want and I don't always greet him at the door with a smile on my face.  We both have many faults.  And that doesn't make us bad.  It makes us human.  (Enter Grace, stage right.  Exit resentfulness, stage left.)  

 

Feeling completely humbled at this point, I started to rethink the blog post I had intended to write today.  The holidays are approaching fast, and maybe soon I'll get back to the post I intended to share with you today.  But for now, I'm busy.  I'm busy making crayons.  I'm busy listening to the giggles coming from under the tent blanket.  I'm busy catching up the dishes so my exhausted husband doesn't have to do them tonight.  In short:  I'm busy taking care of my family and striving hard to do so with grace and love (and probably an apology or two).  Because they are all that matters.